


an ache i still remember

by nosecoffee



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy, Voyná i mir | War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace (TV 2016)
Genre: Denial, F/M, M/M, Night Terrors, Polyamorous relationship, Polyamory, Reincarnation AU, Reincarnation is Common AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 08:23:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8659660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: Pierre remembers Hélène with clarity, her memory almost as bright as the comet that had restored some hope in him, but now, so many years after, she is both different and the same.Reincarnation AU





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Gotye's 'Somebody That I Used To Know'

He remembers long nights spent staring at her in the light of the moon from the window.

He remembers her soft kisses, at the start, her laughter, her sweetness.

He remembers the ice skating, and the carriage rides, and the kissing the night they got engaged.

And he remembers her coldness, her bitter laughter, her sharp words.

Pierre remembers Hélène with clarity, her memory almost as bright as the comet that had restored some hope in him, but now, so many years after, she is both different and the same.

He wants to hate her, he wants to love her, and Andrei is saying his name, but he can't respond.

Because he hasn't seen Hélène for two-hundred years and he's trying to figure out how to say 'hello'.

~

Pierre had his revelation at age six.

At first he'd thought it was another nightmare, fleeing from his bed, partially blind from the fact that he'd broken his glasses the day before, scared out of his wits of the terrible things he'd seen in his mind.

But pausing in the doorway to his mothers bedroom, he recalled how his teacher had told him and his friends that their revelations would take place when they were older, if they weren't new souls.

Pierre wandered back to his room, no longer scared of what might lunge from the dark at him (worse things had, after all) and went back to sleep, mentioning it to his mother at breakfast the next day.

~

He met Andrei at boarding school, when he was thirteen, and the moment he met him, Andrei seemed to shake off a mundane haze, and awaken as if from a dream.

Andrei recognised him directly, hugging him like an old friend, though they'd only just met in this life.

Pierre asked him all he had wanted to when he'd been a prisoner, and in return, Andrei asked after Maria and Natasha and the like.

Pierre hadn't met anyone else from before, so when Andrei took him home for Christmas and met Maria with a knowing smile, he was relieved, knowing now that he wasn't entirely alone.

~

Maria was the reason that they found them, anyway.

She texted them, daily, asking after their health and their studies, and responding to their own questions of that quality with SnapChats and dumb Emoji's. Pierre hasn't felt this carefree since Natasha, but that was long gone now.

And he missed his wife terribly.

Natasha had been a constant through his life, up until his death, and even then, she was everything.

But she wasn't there, now. Now there was only Andrei and Maria and himself and all they could do was stuck together.

It was Easter, the holidays of his seventeenth year, when Maria came in, excited, because she'd "found more."

What exactly that meant, Pierre didn't know at first, but Andrei jumped up like a puppy, asking feverishly who it was.

Maria didn't answer, just beckoned them to follow her out of the house and down to the lake a little ways away from the Bolkonsky's.

There was a dark haired family having a picnic on the shore, who all waved to them when they saw them.

Maria called out to one, and he went sprinting across the sand towards her, and caught her in a tight hug.

Andrei told him that this was most likely Nikolai (Pierre had told him all about his sisters happy marriage) as they kissed a moment later.

The little blonde boy that raced after his brother was Petya, and Pierre felt an ache for the boy, the boy who had suffered so little at the end, and yet caused his family so much pain. He was so innocent. Pierre could hardly look at him for the grief that flooded him.

The girl stood and Pierre could have cried because as she looked at him, understanding flooded her features and she let out a sob that echoed across the clear blue if the lake.

Andrei inhaled sharply, as he saw her, and the two boys went off running towards Natasha, born equally as in love with her as before.

Natasha caught them in a tight embrace, kissing their cheeks with whispered prayers and sobs on her lips.

Pierre knew the jealousy that unravelled in his stomach at Andrei's attentions was provoked, but couldn't help reasoning that Andrei had loved her first, no matter what Pierre said.

And if she was the same as before, it would suit him just fine to love her, alongside Andrei.

~

Natasha and her brothers made a fine addition to their rag-tag group. Maria and Nickolai were sickeningly in love, more so than before, Pierre even argued. Petya ran an indifferent opinion to his siblings romances.

Natasha on the other hand took to Pierre's proposal well.

She didn't mind being theirs, even said that she could never be prevailed upon to choose.

Andrei never wasted a minute tearing affections from her very being, he considered that he'd lost too much time, that he never would again. That now that nothing stood in their way, he'd finally receive her.

Pierre, on the other hand, knew her back-to-front, from every which-way, and took his time.

He was never as passionate or as rushed as Andrei - Andrei who assumed that he was always running out of time - because he knew it drove her wild and he couldn't help but do that to her.

He worshipped her in a way that he hadn't been able to before, in a way that wouldn't have been proper before, and even found himself feeling the same way about Andrei.

Natasha loved them both equally, never afraid to show it, and made sure they knew how far she'd come to find them.

~

Which was why it was such a big deal to see her.

Pierre was content with his life, he had everything he wanted, everything he needed but seeing Hélène in the throng of party-goers and realising how short his time in the sun with her had been, Pierre felt like he'd been shot.

He tapped her on the shoulder and she turned, small pink mouth open in greeting. She didn't look at him like he was anything special. Just like he was another guy, here to buy her a drink.

"Hi!" She shouted over the music.

"Hi!" He replied.

"I'm Hélène!" She put her hand out for him to shake.

"Pierre!" He shook her hand. "I'm really sorry, but you're really familiar!"

She shrugged, still bouncing in time with the music. "I'm sorry, Pierre!" Hélène said with a flirtatious smile. "I'm afraid I'm a new soul! Never had my revelation, see? I figure I never will! Easier that way, I think!"

"Right!" Pierre said, disappointed.

"You could buy me a drink, though!" She added, smile growing.

Pierre smiled back. "I'm afraid that I'm already in a relationship! One of my partners is over there!" He pointed to the bar and she nodded in understanding.

"Ah well! It was lovely to meet you, Pierre!"

"Yes, lovely!" He shoved back through the crowd to Andrei.

"Ready to hit it? The missus wants us home." Andrei said, leaning back with his elbows on the bar, a slim glimpse of toned skin visible from where his t-shirt had been pulled up.

"Yeah, let's go." Pierre replied.

"Who was that, anyway?"

He shrugged, "Just somebody that I used to know."

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> I really like War and Peace, okay? My Tumblr is @nose-coffe, come and visit me there, and feel free to leave a comment and a kudos here, they're so awesome. Thanks, I hope you enjoyed.


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